Beddhism and Buddhism
(1) Buddhism1 is more than 2,500 years old and has had millions of active practitioners.
Beddhism is approximately 0 years old, as I’m still working on it, and has approximately 1 practitioner, who is me. (My wife and a few friends sometimes take the time to feel their feelings, but none of them are all the way on board.)
(2) Buddhism grew out of the culture of ancient India. In its original form was a response to a variety of religious and philosophical questions that were prevalent at the time. It was created by one of the great spiritual geniuses of all time, who dedicated his entire life to working out the solution to the deepest problems of existence. It has inspired countless spiritual and moral geniuses, world leaders, and ordinary people.
Beddhism is a response to the contemporary problems of unhappiness found in a lot of 21st century cultures, often referred to as anxiety, depression, and related forms of mental illness. It was created by an ordinary American office worker whose greatest claim to achievement is a Ph.D. that led to a short academic career that ended more than 20 years ago, and who happened upon his ideas while recovering from a severe anxiety disorder. It has inspired approximately nobody.
(3) Body position is often stressed in Buddhist meditation. A variety of postures can be adopted, from full or half lotus to simple cross-legged, or just sitting in a chair. Very often, detailed directions are given governing such things as the alignment of the head and back, the placement of the arms and hands, and so on. Instructions may also be given as to the type of breathing to be practiced (through the nose rather than the mouth is usually preferred, for instance, but much more detailed directions than this are common).
The best advice I can give, if you want to try beddhism, is to start out by lying in bed in whatever position is comfortable. But literally any posture is fine. Don’t worry about your breathing, either. (Unless, of course, feelings occur in your body that tell you to focus on your breathing!)
(4) If you do Buddhist meditation, you will be asked to sit still, with as little motion as possible. It is very bad form to move around or make noise. A critical part of the practice, in fact, is to learn to ignore the physical sensations (from tiny itches to enormous back pain) that may occur as you sit quietly.
In beddhism, there is no interest at all in sitting or lying still, or being quiet. If your feelings ask you to move, then move! If you’re uncomfortable, you may want to shift your body to become more comfortable. But if the discomfort continues to bother you, it’s probably better to try to shift your position to become less comfortable: move into the pain, not out of it. In any case, trying to lie still is 100% not part of the practice. Also, if something hurts and you need to make some noise, then do so! Crying out in pain, trembling all over, allowing your body to wrench itself about, or full-on weeping: all of those are highly recommended and can be a critical part of healing.
(5) In the most common form of Buddhist meditation, once you have attained an adequate position and are sitting still, the most common next step is to focus on your breathing.
In beddhism, once you have found a comfortable (or uncomfortable) position, the next step is to focus on the feelings in your body. Any feeling, anywhere, is important.
(6) In Buddhist meditation, when physical sensations come up, one ignores them and re-focuses on the breath.
In beddhism, when physical sensations come up, they are the whole point of the exercise. Pay attention to them!
(7) One of the first thing one learns when doing any kind of meditation is that it’s very easy for thoughts to burst through and interrupt the meditation process. It is very common, and very frustrating, for beginning meditators to realize that they’ve spent the last several minutes thinking about their ordinary obsessions, having completely forgotten that they were supposed to be meditating.
In Buddhist meditation, when intrusive thoughts come up, one redirects one’s attention to the breath. One learns over time that thoughts arise and fall for no particular reason, and that ultimately they don’t matter. There is nothing to do with your random thoughts except ignore them and go back to focusing on the breath.
In beddhism, one also learns that thoughts arise and fall, and ultimately they don’t matter. Very similar! And so sometimes the best plan is to ignore your thoughts and redirect your attention to your feelings, similar to Buddhist meditation. But not always: sometimes you want to take a different approach. This is because some thoughts are unpleasant, and those thoughts are probably arising for a specific reason – namely, because they are associated with unpleasant feelings. The thoughts trigger, and/or are triggered by, the feelings. This can be very useful!
What’s the plan? You should continue to think the unpleasant thoughts. Use the thoughts to create unpleasant feelings, so that you can really feel the feelings. Clearer, stronger unpleasant feelings are easier to feel, and thus by intentionally creating unpleasant feelings, you can make faster progress.
The process goes like this. Step 1: pay attention to the unpleasant thoughts and allow the related emotions to arise. Step 2: ignore the thoughts for a while in order to pay attention to what the emotions feel like. Step 3: as the power of the emotions dies down, let the thoughts start up again, with the intention to create more powerful feelings in the body. Repeat.
(8) In most forms of Buddhist meditation, the point is to attain a particular state of mind and body. In breathing meditation, for instance, the goal is to attain a calm mind. In another kind of meditation known as loving-kindness meditation, the goal is to enter positive emotional state of love or compassion for other creatures and oneself.
In beddhism, the point is to feel your feelings, whatever those feelings may be. The goal is very much not to attain a calm state of mind, nor any other positive emotional state. If you start to feel anxious, then your goal is to feel what it feels like to feel anxious. If you feel depressed, you want to enter into the depression and really experience it. And similarly with any other unhappy emotion. The goal is to experience one’s unhappy feelings just as they are. If anything, you might want to experience them harder, inviting more pain.
(9) In Buddhist meditation, additional goals of practice exist beyond creating the calm mind. Once the mind is calm, for instance, one may be encouraged to look around and see what insights can be gained, from this place of mental and emotional calm, into the nature of the self.
In beddhism, there are no additional goals. You feel your feelings, and that’s it. The healing of your emotional trauma, unhappiness, and whatever mental illnesses may be present: all of that will happen in the unconscious, once you feel your feelings adequately. There’s nothing that I’m aware of that you can do to speed up the process, so don’t bother trying.
(10) The first of the noble truths of Buddhism is suffering (dukkha, which also has connotations of “uneasiness” and “dissatisfaction”). The path of Buddhism is the path by which one can learn to eliminate suffering. In most Buddhist traditions, the end goal is enlightenment, often known as nirvana: a state of being in which all types of suffering cease.
Beddhism is very similar to Buddhism in this respect! The goal is reduction of suffering. Now, I have no idea if it’s possible to eliminate all suffering. I suspect it’s not. But by feeling your feelings, you definitely start to reduce suffering. You start to feel better. If you suffer from anxiety, depression, or related forms of mental illness, Beddhism offers the possibility of drastically reducing your symptoms. I think something like a 99% reduction in suffering is a realistic end point (though I’m not there yet). Real and lasting happiness can result, if you keep working at it.
(11) A dedicated Buddhist practitioner will likely spend years, if not decades, practicing meditation and related spiritual and mental exercises. The truly dedicated may practice for 12 hours per day or more, at least some of the time. It can become not only a lifelong practice, but a truly obsessive one.
If you want to try out beddhism, you might want to commit to trying to do say 1-3 hours per day until you reach roughly 300-500 hours in total. That might take anywhere from roughly 3 to 12 months. If you’re not seeing clear benefits by that point in terms of increased day-to-day happiness, then I’d probably give up and do something else. I also really, really do not recommend practicing a ton of hours every day! Feel your feelings until you don’t feel like doing that anymore, then get up and do other things. Live your life! A lot of us who suffer from mental health problems are plenty obsessive, and that’s fine, but don’t overdo it.
(12) Many beginning meditators in the Buddhist tradition run into the problem of boredom. It’s just boring, at first, to sit quietly and pay attention to the breath. A lot of people give up very early.
Beddhism is a lot of things, but boring is not one of them. Especially if you’re anxious or depressed, feeling your feelings is going to take you very quickly to some awful, unpleasant places. But if you’re like me and the few other people who have tried it, you will quickly find it fascinating. And awful, a lot of the time! But not boring.
One important exception: occasionally, it does get boring to feel a specific sensation. That’s a really good sign. It means that that particular feeling is starting to not be upsetting.
Progress with your most hated feelings can look something like this. At first, the feeling is “super awful” — but then, with practice, it moves to just “very awful.” Keep working and it can move to “awful” then to “bad” and then “not so bad.” Eventually you reach “this is boring why do I even care anymore?” Afterward comes “meh” followed by “huh this is actually kind of interesting.” Then, finally, the miracle: “wait I can’t feel it at all anymore.”
(13) Many beginning meditators in the Buddhist tradition ask themselves “Am I doing this wrong?” The answer is usually no. It’s difficult, but if you stick with it, it will get easier and things eventually start to make sense.
Beddhism, at least for anxious and depressed people, is exactly the same way. It feels like you’re doing it wrong ... but that’s just because everything feels wrong when you’re suffering like you are. Keep at it.
Ask yourself: “Does this hurt? Is it unpleasant? Does part of me wish that I could just get up and stop doing it?” If yes, then you’re doing it right. Whatever the hurt is, no matter how strange or painful or scary, that’s the hurt you’re supposed to be experiencing. Healing happens right in the middle of that pain. Feel your pain to heal your pain.
(14) The practice of Buddhist meditation mostly feels good. It brings peace and quiet to the mind and body.
If you’re healing from serious mental illness, beddhism hurts. A lot. The worse you feel, the better it’s working.
(15) Buddhist meditation is … meditation. The idea is to achieve a specific state of mind and body that is not normal.
Beddhism is not meditation. You are not looking to create any unusual state of mind or body at all. If you happen to find yourself in a meditative state, or maybe you’re falling asleep and things feel a bit meditative, that’s fine! It may even be very helpful at that moment. But it’s not the goal, and it’s not a necessary part of the path.
Yes, what I have to say here about Buddhism is much too simplistic. Buddhism is a multi-faceted, multi-cultural reality that scholars have spent bajillions of pages arguing about. There’s no way I can do it justice in a few pages. I’m just pointing out some basics about Buddhism, as commonly understood in the west, in order to explain a few things about Beddhism. That’s all. (If you want to understand Buddhism in all its amazingness, which by the way I do recommend ... you’re reading the wrong book [and the wrong Substack].)